Good Court Humor

My brother Craig happens to be a District Attorney. A County Prosecutor.
To most (alledged) criminals, he's the bad guy.

Here's the partial transcript from his hearing this morning:
Judge: Mr. Haukaas, how long will this hearing take?
Haukaas: Five minutes
Judge: August 12 @1:00
Defense:Judge, I am not available on that date
Judge: August 19 @1:00
Defendant: I will be watching Days of Our Lives. I'm not available.
Judge: You will be here
Defendant: Why don't you just sentence me and get it over with?
Judge: You have an attorney on this case Mr. ____. He can speak for you.
Defendant: I just want to say this is bullshit, your honor.
Judge: That just cost you 60 days.
Defendant: Big fuckin deal. I have already been in here for eight fuckin' months.
Judge: That's another 60 - get him out of here.
Defendant: Fuck you (pointing at the Judge) and you (pointing at his attorney) and you (pointing at the court clerk) and a special fuck you to you (pointing at the jailer). Not you Craig - your OK (as he is being hauled out of court).

Now that's funny!